Frightened
and I shouldn’t be, should I?
In two days I go to the local hospital for a “routine” procedure. A simple operation from what I can gather. I have a lump, cyst, something benign under my left armpit. Went and saw my DR, he recommended I do a follow up with a surgeon. Did that a few weks ago. He said it, was most likely nothing and if it hurts, it should come out.
POssible risks, infection, bleeding, soreness. I’ve already got the soreness part down. I don’t know why I’m so afraid. I’ve had major surgery and wasn’t like this. It seems the older I get the more I find myself fearing or dreading things. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? I survived cancer, I was on a USN Ballistic Sub poking around the ocean in hundreds of feet of water, never really bothered me being in that sewer tube with crimped ends. Test depth? HA! As Im pushing 42(OMG when did I get this old) I find myself battling with panic attacks over what should be simple things.
Oh well, surgery is pretty much locked in, Probably in and out in a few hours total. Right? Go ahead and lie to me, tell me it will all be fine and Im worrying for nothing.
July 28th, 2009 at 1:00 am
You speak about fears. Why now and not then? I don’t know your situation back then, but I know for me, then was a time to be free. I was young and didn’t have anyone else to worry about. It was just me. A family changes that. A family changes you. It makes you think about things that you may not have given a second thought about before. It’s not a bad thing to have some of those fears. It just means we’ve left a bit of our selfish side behind.
Like you said, you’ll be in and out in a few hours and all will be fine. Easy for me to say, I know. Just be prepared in a few days for me to say I told you so =P
Good luck and lots of hugs…
KL