Weaps Vs Chop
I almost went with another title “Don’t bring a ladle to a gun fight” Not sure which one is better. You decide.
So, the title Weaps is what we called the weapons officer on the sub and chop is the supply/mess officer.
The first chop was awesome. He knew his shit, took good care of his people, made sure the food was good etc. The second guy? Not so much. He was all but worthless. None of the enlisted or officers had any respect for him. He was one of the few officers I did my best to never salute, at least so far as I could get away with not. It usually was “oops sorry sir, didn’t see you or some alternate salute reminiscent of Benny Hill.
He was new to subs and not qualified, as a submarine officer. Something bubbleheads take very seriously. Essentially, you get to the sub and begin learning every system on board from trim and drain to electrical, environmental etc. You may not know where every valve is, but you know enough to keep the sub off the bottom of the ocean in an emergency.
Some guys did it in one patrol some more. I think I did it in 2? So, in that regard we were more important than the chop.
He was supposed to be a Dive officer, responsible for diving and surfacing the sub, keeping us on course/depth etc. He sucked at it. As a matter of fact, when I was still a helmsman/planesman he would ask us what we thought he should do.
How fucked up is that?
Anyway… So the weapons officer was a total opposite and knew his shit. He was one of those that would chew your ass out when you screwed up, yet would defend you if he thought you were right.
Also, he hated the new chop and never let him forget it.
On at least one occasion, I recall the chop picking on an enlisted sailor. Weaps told him to shut the fuck up, the sailor was qualified, and therefore better than the chop was.
The first instance was not serving what was on the menu for breakfast. One morning Sticky buns were listed and they were not made. Granted the mess cook screwed up, but ultimately, as division officer, the chop was responsible. Weaps let him know this, in front a large group of us. He also told him, he would gladly wake him up, if this happened again. Things were good for a few days, then no sticky buns and weaps went and woke up the chop.
Things smoothed out for awhile, then someone screwed up dinner, and it sucked apparently. So, weaps made a point to call the chop out on this. He also said if it happened again he’d let him know in his in box. You see, outside the ships office, each dept. head had their own inbox for paper work and important things.
One night, they made spaghetti and obviously the weaps was not happy with it. I was in the control room when weaps came in looking for the chop. He told us to make sure, when we saw him, to let him know there was a message in his inbox.
Weaps went up to the ships office, opened the door to the in-boxes, slid out the one for Supply, and gently turned his full plate of food, upside down into said inbox.